If you’re a single mom, the concept of “me time” probably sounds like something out of a fairytale. You’ve read about it, seen it in movies, and maybe even heard your married friends mention it—but for you, it feels as elusive as a unicorn riding a rainbow. Between juggling work, school drop-offs, homework, dinner, and the occasional breakdown (yours or the kids’), finding time for yourself can seem impossible.
But here’s the thing: You need me time. And you deserve it, too. Even if it’s just a few precious moments between the chaos, carving out time for yourself isn’t a luxury—it’s a necessity. So let’s dive into the art of finding me time as a single mom, because yes, it’s possible, and yes, it’s worth it.
1. The Bathroom: Your Personal Sanctuary
Let’s start with the most obvious option: the bathroom. It’s the one place you can (mostly) lock the door and be alone. For many single moms, the bathroom is less about taking care of business and more about taking a mental break. Sure, you might only get five minutes before tiny fingers start poking under the door, but that’s five minutes of peace you can cherish.
How to Make the Most of It:
Light a candle, put on a calming playlist, and pretend you’re at a spa instead of hiding from your kids. And if someone starts banging on the door, just tell them you’re conducting “serious mom business” and need a moment.
Your New Motto:
“If I can’t find peace, I’ll take privacy. Even if it’s just for 90 seconds.”
2. The Car Escape: The Mobile Spa Day
If you’re lucky enough to have a car, it’s not just for transportation—it’s your mobile sanctuary. After you’ve buckled the kids in at school or after soccer practice, take a few moments for yourself before driving off. Sit in the parking lot, put on your favorite song, and just breathe.
Pro Tip:
Keep a secret stash of snacks in the glove compartment. Treat yourself to a mini road trip snack without having to share. It’s like your own little oasis of calm before you have to dive back into the day.
Your New Ritual:
“I’ll take five minutes of sitting in my car with the radio on blast over five minutes of scrolling through social media any day.”
3. Embrace the Power of Late-Night ‘Me Time’
When the kids are finally in bed and the house is (mostly) quiet, it’s tempting to collapse into bed yourself. But if you can muster the energy to stay up just a little bit longer, you can savor some true me time. It’s the sweet, peaceful moment when you can watch whatever you want on TV, eat the good snacks (you know, the ones you don’t share with the kids), and just exist.
Try This:
Create a simple nighttime ritual just for you. Light a candle, grab a book you’ve been wanting to read, or watch that guilty pleasure show you’ve been hiding from your kids. It doesn’t have to be a long time—just enough to remind yourself that you’re still a person outside of being a mom.
Your New Bedtime Mantra:
“Tonight, I’m not just going to sleep—I’m going to treat myself like the queen I am. Even if it’s just for 10 minutes.”
4. Learn the Fine Art of Multi-Tasking ‘Me Time’
As a single mom, you’ve probably mastered the art of multitasking. So why not apply that same skill to your me time? It’s all about finding little pockets of joy in your daily routine. Play your favorite podcast while you’re cooking dinner, blast your favorite playlist while cleaning the house, or do a little dance party with your kids to get those endorphins flowing.
Pro Tip:
Incorporate self-care into the tasks you already do. Turn dishwashing into a spa moment by using a fancy hand cream afterward, or enjoy a glass of wine while folding laundry. Who said chores couldn’t be a little luxurious?
Your New Approach:
“If I have to do it anyway, I might as well make it fun. Who says laundry can’t be a dance party?”
5. Schedule ‘Me Time’ Like It’s a Doctor’s Appointment
You schedule everything else in your life—work meetings, dentist appointments, soccer practice. So why not schedule me time, too? Treat it like it’s just as important as any other obligation (because it is). Put it on your calendar, set a reminder, and don’t let anything interrupt it.
How to Make It Happen:
Pick one night a week (or even just one hour) and block it off for you. Tell the kids it’s “mom’s special time,” and stick to it. Whether you use it for a long bath, a Netflix binge, or just sitting in silence, it’s your time to recharge.
Your New Philosophy:
“If I don’t put myself on my schedule, who will?”
6. Get Creative with Childcare (Hint: It Doesn’t Have to Be Expensive)
Finding time for yourself often means finding someone to watch the kids for a little while. If you don’t have family nearby, this can feel impossible. But there are ways to get creative without breaking the bank.
Ideas for Free (or Cheap) Childcare:
- Swap babysitting with a friend who’s also a single mom. She watches your kids for an hour this week, and you return the favor next week.
- Look for community programs or drop-in childcare services at your local gym or library.
- Set up a playdate with another parent. The kids entertain each other, and you get a moment to breathe.
Your New Plan:
“Babysitting swap is the new currency of motherhood. And it’s worth every minute.”
7. Say ‘No’ More Often (And Feel Zero Guilt About It)
One of the biggest drains on your time and energy as a single mom is saying “yes” to everything. The school wants you to bake cookies for the fundraiser, your friend wants you to come to a party, and your neighbor needs help moving a couch. Here’s a revolutionary idea: It’s okay to say no.
The world will not fall apart if you skip a bake sale or decline a social invitation. In fact, the more you say no to things that don’t serve you, the more time you have to say yes to yourself.
Practice This Phrase:
“Thanks for thinking of me, but I’m going to pass this time. I’ve got a date with my couch and some well-deserved peace and quiet.”
Your New Boundary:
“If it’s not a ‘heck yes,’ it’s a no.”
8. Indulge in Micro Me Time Moments (Because They Add Up)
If you can’t find an hour for me time, that’s okay. Look for smaller, micro moments throughout your day. It could be a quick walk around the block while the kids are at soccer practice, a few deep breaths before you pick them up from school, or a quiet cup of coffee before the chaos begins.
Micro Me Time Ideas:
- Sip your coffee slowly (and hot!) before anyone else wakes up.
- Take a five-minute meditation break in your car.
- Listen to an audiobook while doing the dishes.
- Close your eyes for one whole minute and just breathe.
Your New Outlook:
“Me time doesn’t have to be big to be meaningful. I’ll take the little moments and savor them.”
9. Get the Kids Involved (Yes, Really)
Who says me time has to be a solo activity? Sometimes, the best way to find peace is to involve your kids in a calming activity. Have a “quiet time” session where everyone reads their own book or colors a picture. Turn on some calming music and have a mini meditation session together.
Try This:
Make a game out of “who can be the quietest for five minutes.” It’s amazing how competitive kids can get when there’s a challenge involved, and you get a little bit of peace in the process.
Your New Game Plan:
“If you can’t beat them, get them to join you in the calm.”
Final Thoughts: You Deserve This
Being a single mom means you’re always on the go, always giving, and always juggling a million things. But here’s the truth: You deserve me time just as much as anyone else. And it’s not selfish to take it—it’s necessary.
So the next time you feel guilty for taking a few moments for yourself, remember this: A rested, happy mom is a better mom. When you take care of yourself, you’re showing your kids that self-care is important. You’re teaching them that it’s okay to prioritize their own well-being, too.
And if anyone asks why you need so much me time? Just smile and say, “Because I’m raising tiny humans. I’ve earned it.”
Fiona Bailey is a mom of three, a certified Child Development expert, and a pro at juggling sippy cups and sticky fingers. After her first child, Casey traded the office for the living room, embracing the stay-at-home mom life with open arms (and lots of baby wipes). With a degree in Child Development, she combines her academic knowledge with hands-on experience, delivering relatable, insightful, and often hilarious content for parents who are just trying to keep it together — one snack break at a time.
